I'm not sure how it happened, but Rocktober just wrapped up another fantastic situation in a big red bow and handed it to me on a silver freaking platter. Last week went from mediocre to exquisite within a 90 second phone call last Sunday night. Plans were made, tickets purchased, costumes obtained. This Halloween was nothing less than spectacular as it was spent with some of my most favorite human beings. A calm balance returned to my soul when the tri-force of greatness was on the left coast at the same time.
It's a bittersweet drive home from the airport each time we all part. Singing hand-puppets, action figures and alcohol are a sure mix of hilarity, however that will take place no matter how much distance we place between ourselves. The hard part is knowing that I won't see someone I love so dearly and consider my family for a few more months. Not gonna lie, it's difficult to force back tears. All in all, we had a blast. I truly love being us. We. Are. Funny.
The last few weeks have filled to the brim with Tom Foolery, Hi-Jinx and Serendipitous events. Life seems to be answering questions, filling in the blanks of my mad-lib of a life and I'm strangely okay with all of it. In fact I say, "bring it ON!" with unparalleled enthusiasm. Things are shifting and changing and I'm stupid excited for what's around the corner. I just have to keep telling myself to hold on and ride it out. I've been through a lot in my lifetime and things always end up as they should. It's funny how life is a lot more fun when you throw caution to the wind and stop worrying. Good things keep happening. I'm not sure what I've done or what bank seems to be cashing my karma cheques one after another, but I'm thankful.
*****
Is it possible to love someone and completely DISlike them at the same time? I've learned that the answer to this is a resounding YES. This problem has popped up on me twice this year so far and it's really quite unsettling. At first I thought it was a lack of care, but upon further investigation - it's the opposite. Things wouldn't bother me if I didn't. It's a delicate balance of walking away quietly, keeping a silent amount of hope for them as individuals and leaving enough distance to not become rage-filled with annoyance by a single word that escapes their lips. I know it's a character flaw and it's something I have to address, I just don't know if I have the energy to tackle it yet. But it's definately on the list.
11.02.2009
10.20.2009
Aligned
This last week has been nothing less than topsy turvy.
I started to write a post last week about taking chances and leaps of faith and decided not to post it. To my surprise, God and the Universe smacked me in the face with my own words just a few short hours later. I've been presented new possibilities which are both exciting and scary at the same time. My heart has been telling me for awhile that something is just around the corner, something huge and new. After the past few days things are finally settling into my mind not so much as fanciful ideas but quite possible realities. I've managed to keep my head about me and the excitement minimal as nothing is ever promised to us; however the sheer idea of new endeavors makes me giddy.
Along with this, I think the universe is also trying to get me to look past myself. Friday evening, I found myself smack dab in the middle of serial killer weather, headed south and stuck in traffic for two hours. I thought about turning around several times and just heading home in such miserable weather when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball on the couch and drink hot chocolate while watching a movie I've seen a thousand times. But I pressed on. I made it to the party. Just moments after arriving, I knew that I was exactly where I needed to be at that moment. It was nice to be around a real family that exudes love for one another, celebrating friends with yummy food and good wine. That night as I drove home, my mind went down a really odd path, but in the end I came out feeling much better about things. I realized most of the time in life, I'm my harshest critic. I deserve a lot more than I give myself credit for and most of the time I live in the isolation of my head. When I think about death (and I do), the actual event doesn't seem to bother me, it's not knowing if I'll be remembered. I mean sure, the people I love the most will remember me and my insanity but - will anyone really care after a few years, if I died tomorrow? And then, I have evenings like Friday night which remind me that there are good, genuine people that truly care about me, that I don't necessarily see in my daily life that want the best for me because they love me. When that finally sinks into my head from time to time, I feel like the luckiest person in the world.
I think what God is really trying to teach me this year is that I'm not alone in this life. In all of my life I've never laughed to the point of exhaustion or cried myself to dehydration as I have this year. Despite the twists and turns, smooth and bumpy roads, or the lack of "family" that any of us might have, we are so incredibly blessed with the people we have in our lives. "Family" is who we make it whether it's blood or a bond that surpasses it.
This year as we enter the season of thankfulness, I can't think of anything I'm more thankful for than the people I have in my life. I'm surrounded by some pretty incredible individuals who are smart, funny, witty, sympathetic and empathetic. Those who will roll up their sleeves and kick someones ass for me without batting an eye or tell me when to pull my head out of my own. Those who will be by my side in an instant. They are my support. They help me be a better me. For that, I'm grateful.
As my horoscope informed me this morning, I plan to rigorously figure out my intentions, formulate my desires impeccably and express myself precisely.
:The Next Big Adventure:
On Sunday, in a stroke of genius - a plan was hatched. Timing seems to be on our side and things are falling into place. The next big trip will hopefully take place this up-coming spring with two of my favorite people, in an adventure of EPIC proportions. When I think about it, my mind gets so overwhelmed that my body's only natural reaction is to instruct my eyes to swell with tears. THAT'S how much fun this will be.
I started to write a post last week about taking chances and leaps of faith and decided not to post it. To my surprise, God and the Universe smacked me in the face with my own words just a few short hours later. I've been presented new possibilities which are both exciting and scary at the same time. My heart has been telling me for awhile that something is just around the corner, something huge and new. After the past few days things are finally settling into my mind not so much as fanciful ideas but quite possible realities. I've managed to keep my head about me and the excitement minimal as nothing is ever promised to us; however the sheer idea of new endeavors makes me giddy.
Along with this, I think the universe is also trying to get me to look past myself. Friday evening, I found myself smack dab in the middle of serial killer weather, headed south and stuck in traffic for two hours. I thought about turning around several times and just heading home in such miserable weather when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball on the couch and drink hot chocolate while watching a movie I've seen a thousand times. But I pressed on. I made it to the party. Just moments after arriving, I knew that I was exactly where I needed to be at that moment. It was nice to be around a real family that exudes love for one another, celebrating friends with yummy food and good wine. That night as I drove home, my mind went down a really odd path, but in the end I came out feeling much better about things. I realized most of the time in life, I'm my harshest critic. I deserve a lot more than I give myself credit for and most of the time I live in the isolation of my head. When I think about death (and I do), the actual event doesn't seem to bother me, it's not knowing if I'll be remembered. I mean sure, the people I love the most will remember me and my insanity but - will anyone really care after a few years, if I died tomorrow? And then, I have evenings like Friday night which remind me that there are good, genuine people that truly care about me, that I don't necessarily see in my daily life that want the best for me because they love me. When that finally sinks into my head from time to time, I feel like the luckiest person in the world.
I think what God is really trying to teach me this year is that I'm not alone in this life. In all of my life I've never laughed to the point of exhaustion or cried myself to dehydration as I have this year. Despite the twists and turns, smooth and bumpy roads, or the lack of "family" that any of us might have, we are so incredibly blessed with the people we have in our lives. "Family" is who we make it whether it's blood or a bond that surpasses it.
This year as we enter the season of thankfulness, I can't think of anything I'm more thankful for than the people I have in my life. I'm surrounded by some pretty incredible individuals who are smart, funny, witty, sympathetic and empathetic. Those who will roll up their sleeves and kick someones ass for me without batting an eye or tell me when to pull my head out of my own. Those who will be by my side in an instant. They are my support. They help me be a better me. For that, I'm grateful.
As my horoscope informed me this morning, I plan to rigorously figure out my intentions, formulate my desires impeccably and express myself precisely.
:The Next Big Adventure:
On Sunday, in a stroke of genius - a plan was hatched. Timing seems to be on our side and things are falling into place. The next big trip will hopefully take place this up-coming spring with two of my favorite people, in an adventure of EPIC proportions. When I think about it, my mind gets so overwhelmed that my body's only natural reaction is to instruct my eyes to swell with tears. THAT'S how much fun this will be.
10.12.2009
Q3
It was a ridiculously busy quarter for me.
It started off with a trip to the peninsula on the 4th of July with Kitty - for a day of sunshiney fun and grave pictorials, finished up with a view of the fireworks on a rooftop deck. A good forth indeed.
I managed to squeeze out as much fun as I could from this ripe summer and saw some great shows not only at home, but in Canada, Portland and Atlanta. New Kids, Jason, G. Love, Dave, Patton... A good summer for shows, that's for sure.
The great living room overhaul twas a success. Oh, how I love it. I spend even more quality time there now - as it's the perfect set up for board games, movie watching and general evening laziness. I'm ready for you Fall even though Winter seems to have over-stepped it already.
I managed to have an INSANELY fun trip to Georgia in July and September brought more adventures that one could hope for. The mixture of a week off of work, a fast car and a handful of insane females crossing state and country borders with an action figure and a camera, bellinis, trespassing with no arrests and a new tattoo. There are no words to describe the amount of side splitting laughter that took place.
Looking back, I have amazing memories and photos to prove them. I spent quality time with those I cherish - new friends and those that I couldn't imagine life without. I've moved on, grown and learned some powerful lessons. Some situations were put to rest and I'm finding I'm more open to new adventures now than I have been in years.
I'm excited to find out what the next quarter will bring... And as shocking as it sounds, I seem to be filled to the brim with excitement for the impending holiday season!
It started off with a trip to the peninsula on the 4th of July with Kitty - for a day of sunshiney fun and grave pictorials, finished up with a view of the fireworks on a rooftop deck. A good forth indeed.
I managed to squeeze out as much fun as I could from this ripe summer and saw some great shows not only at home, but in Canada, Portland and Atlanta. New Kids, Jason, G. Love, Dave, Patton... A good summer for shows, that's for sure.
The great living room overhaul twas a success. Oh, how I love it. I spend even more quality time there now - as it's the perfect set up for board games, movie watching and general evening laziness. I'm ready for you Fall even though Winter seems to have over-stepped it already.
I managed to have an INSANELY fun trip to Georgia in July and September brought more adventures that one could hope for. The mixture of a week off of work, a fast car and a handful of insane females crossing state and country borders with an action figure and a camera, bellinis, trespassing with no arrests and a new tattoo. There are no words to describe the amount of side splitting laughter that took place.
Looking back, I have amazing memories and photos to prove them. I spent quality time with those I cherish - new friends and those that I couldn't imagine life without. I've moved on, grown and learned some powerful lessons. Some situations were put to rest and I'm finding I'm more open to new adventures now than I have been in years.
I'm excited to find out what the next quarter will bring... And as shocking as it sounds, I seem to be filled to the brim with excitement for the impending holiday season!
7.29.2009
It amazes me...
"If you ever utter the words 'is that a shark?' odds are, I'm not gonna be there."
The amount of fun I've had in the last few days should have been illegal.
It really amazes me that the more time I spend away from home, the less I miss it. Maybe it's the ridiculously intelligent folk I visit, maybe it's the immeasurable amount of side splitting laughter, but as the trip winds down - I find it to be bitter sweet. Sure I miss my people and pickled corn, but I can't help thinking I could be just as happy elsewhere. Of course, this will change as soon as I step foot back in Ballard and stomp around my usual path but for the present moment, these thoughts take flight in my head like the plane I wait to board.
I consider myself the luckiest of individuals. To be surround by such remarkable people so far from my normal day to day experience and still feel right at home, is a happy spot to be in.
I felt a shift this time. It started sometime on Sunday. Its hard to describe, but something is morphing and brewing up to the surface of my core.
Change is good. Life is fleeting. Embrace the insanity.
In the great inspiring words of Minda, "Turn off your phone and be where your feet are."
With that, I'd like to thank one of my dearest friends for a very memorable trip of amazing proportions. May our next adventure bring us as much hilarity...
The amount of fun I've had in the last few days should have been illegal.
It really amazes me that the more time I spend away from home, the less I miss it. Maybe it's the ridiculously intelligent folk I visit, maybe it's the immeasurable amount of side splitting laughter, but as the trip winds down - I find it to be bitter sweet. Sure I miss my people and pickled corn, but I can't help thinking I could be just as happy elsewhere. Of course, this will change as soon as I step foot back in Ballard and stomp around my usual path but for the present moment, these thoughts take flight in my head like the plane I wait to board.
I consider myself the luckiest of individuals. To be surround by such remarkable people so far from my normal day to day experience and still feel right at home, is a happy spot to be in.
I felt a shift this time. It started sometime on Sunday. Its hard to describe, but something is morphing and brewing up to the surface of my core.
Change is good. Life is fleeting. Embrace the insanity.
In the great inspiring words of Minda, "Turn off your phone and be where your feet are."
With that, I'd like to thank one of my dearest friends for a very memorable trip of amazing proportions. May our next adventure bring us as much hilarity...
7.24.2009
Ahhh
There's nothing better than walking out of the office for a week and looking back at a freshly cleaned desk.
It's a good feeling.
It's a good feeling.
7.17.2009
The Living Room Situation.
Anyone that knows me, knows I enjoy switching things up...
I woke up one day and my living room just wasn't cutting it for me and I needed a swift change. It took me awhile to find exactly what I wanted and when I saw it, I pounced - much like Charlie on the new couch.
I managed to sell my old set in just a few measely hours curtousy of craigslist and had the new bad-boy delivered in no time at all:
Of course, with this - all of the art had to come off the walls for re-positioning and this weekend is the great hunt for new throw pillows and accessories to luxe the place up.
I plan on having a lot of comfy situations take place on this new found piece of glory.
I woke up one day and my living room just wasn't cutting it for me and I needed a swift change. It took me awhile to find exactly what I wanted and when I saw it, I pounced - much like Charlie on the new couch.
I managed to sell my old set in just a few measely hours curtousy of craigslist and had the new bad-boy delivered in no time at all:
Of course, with this - all of the art had to come off the walls for re-positioning and this weekend is the great hunt for new throw pillows and accessories to luxe the place up.
I plan on having a lot of comfy situations take place on this new found piece of glory.
7.06.2009
Q2
I don't know how it happened, but the second quarter of the year BREEZED right past me. After being almost a week fully entrenched into Q3, I gasped in shock this morning when I realized that I hadn't done my Q2 wrap-up blog.
The fourth, fifth and sixth months of this year brought much chaos. There was a party at every turn and a outlandish number of birthdays to be celebrated, well into the double digits. (We're talking close to thirty) Clearly I need to reduce my friends and family count. Either that, or learn to make friends who are born outside of these crazy months. Apparently, crazy begets crazy and I draw them in close.
I managed to throw myself into some things and detour myself from others in this time span. I learned the true meaning of laziness and enjoyed it heartily. There were a few recurring issues I let fall to the way-side. It's nice to know as time goes on that I can revisit certain parts of myself that I need to change and tackle them from a different angle. Ever-evolving and growing. I like to feel myself change for the betterment of myself, without force.
Along with birthdays and celebrations, adventures were had. San Diego was greatly needed and much appreciated by my soul. I think it recovered a bit there.
One of my favorite bits of birthday business was an amazing evening that was spent with Bean at Spa Noir followed with delicious drinks and then wrapped up the night with the dazzlement of the Flight of the Conchords.
My birthday weekend at the beach was amazing. I had a great time and it made me realize what fantastic individuals are in my daily life.
I'm still in love with my new car. It makes me giddy every time I get behind the wheel.
The newest collection from my gadget whoring ways is the new iPhone 3GS, which has been named Jax. It's black and spectacular.
I not only farmed, but became a farm town elder. My village is complete and thriving.
(Yes, I become addicted to things to a fault.)
I have great goals for Q3... starting with another trip south filled with hilarity and fun. Oh yes, mascara will run and tears will fall, making it nearly impossible to breathe through the laughter. Like always.
The fourth, fifth and sixth months of this year brought much chaos. There was a party at every turn and a outlandish number of birthdays to be celebrated, well into the double digits. (We're talking close to thirty) Clearly I need to reduce my friends and family count. Either that, or learn to make friends who are born outside of these crazy months. Apparently, crazy begets crazy and I draw them in close.
I managed to throw myself into some things and detour myself from others in this time span. I learned the true meaning of laziness and enjoyed it heartily. There were a few recurring issues I let fall to the way-side. It's nice to know as time goes on that I can revisit certain parts of myself that I need to change and tackle them from a different angle. Ever-evolving and growing. I like to feel myself change for the betterment of myself, without force.
Along with birthdays and celebrations, adventures were had. San Diego was greatly needed and much appreciated by my soul. I think it recovered a bit there.
One of my favorite bits of birthday business was an amazing evening that was spent with Bean at Spa Noir followed with delicious drinks and then wrapped up the night with the dazzlement of the Flight of the Conchords.
My birthday weekend at the beach was amazing. I had a great time and it made me realize what fantastic individuals are in my daily life.
I'm still in love with my new car. It makes me giddy every time I get behind the wheel.
The newest collection from my gadget whoring ways is the new iPhone 3GS, which has been named Jax. It's black and spectacular.
I not only farmed, but became a farm town elder. My village is complete and thriving.
(Yes, I become addicted to things to a fault.)
I have great goals for Q3... starting with another trip south filled with hilarity and fun. Oh yes, mascara will run and tears will fall, making it nearly impossible to breathe through the laughter. Like always.
After a big deep sigh, I decided I was going to okay with life this last week. Surprisingly enough, it worked. I highly recommend going with the flow.
The one thing I'm really trying to drill into myself this 32nd year: Avoid overthinking. It's a hard undertaking for me, but I'm working on it. For now, I will continue to remind myself to make things happen and remember not to get married to any specific outcomes. Life morphs itself too quickly to let the little things get in the way.
The one thing I'm really trying to drill into myself this 32nd year: Avoid overthinking. It's a hard undertaking for me, but I'm working on it. For now, I will continue to remind myself to make things happen and remember not to get married to any specific outcomes. Life morphs itself too quickly to let the little things get in the way.
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